I came along with this quote sometime. I think it was a preacher a popular one who says this and he talks about understanding the people behind who hurt you. I often see this as just an excuse of perpetuating the abusive cycle of hurting others, which I dont want to condone. Hurting others is a big NO NO but lets break down first how hurting can be a cycle.

1)  People who have gone through challenging, hurtful, or traumatic experiences in their lives, especially during their formative years, may develop emotional wounds or scars. These experiences can include abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss, or any other situation that has caused significant emotional distress.

2)  When these individuals haven't had the opportunity or resources to properly address and heal from their own emotional wounds, those unresolved emotions can fester and linger. These individuals might carry feelings of anger, resentment, fear, or sadness beneath the surface.

3)  These unhealed emotions can significantly impact a person's behavior and interactions with others. They might develop defense mechanisms, such as lashing out, being overly critical, or even being emotionally distant, as a way to protect themselves from further emotional pain.

4) Unfortunately, if these hurt individuals do not find healthy ways to cope with and heal from their own pain, they might inadvertently perpetuate the cycle by causing pain to others. Their hurt might lead them to behave in hurtful ways toward others, either consciously or unconsciously.

5)  Recognizing the phrase "Hurt people hurt people" emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding. It encourages us to consider the underlying reasons for someone's hurtful behavior rather than simply reacting to the hurtful actions themselves. By understanding that hurt individuals might be acting out of their own pain, we can approach them with compassion and potentially break the cycle of hurt by offering support, kindness, and opportunities for healing.

Does this quote a sort of an excuse to just allow someone being abusive to us?

No, the phrase "Hurt people hurt people" is not intended to be an excuse for abusive behavior. While it provides insight into the cycle of emotional pain and how it can impact behavior, it does not justify or condone hurting others. It's important to draw a clear distinction between understanding the origins of certain behavior and excusing harmful actions.

While people who have experienced emotional pain may be more prone to acting out in hurtful ways, it's still their responsibility to seek help, healing, and personal growth in order to break the cycle of hurt. Understanding the phrase can help promote empathy and encourage a more compassionate response to individuals who exhibit hurtful behavior, but it does not absolve them of accountability for their actions.

Abusive behavior is never justified by a person's own past pain. Abuse is harmful, damaging, and unacceptable. If you or someone you know is experiencing or perpetrating abusive behavior, it's important to seek professional help, whether it's therapy, counseling, or support from relevant organizations that specialize in addressing abusive behavior.

Aside from that my own take is to pray for them. Dont be a victim of abuse, you can have just empathy but dont be a victim. Help them to grow and encourage more healthy relationship.  

God bless everyone. 

Posted by kadjo on August 12, 2023 at 10:52 AM | Add a Comment

My friend is about to go a major operation on his head for the accident related injury he suffers for quite some time. He looks skinny now because he lacks appetite anymore for eating. The operation schedule is about to happen on Thursday, 02 June 2022. I am a bit scared as this is a major surgery.  He still cracks some jokes though and he is still lively today. He goes earlier for a break as he already asked permission to his bosses. I'm praying for the success of the operation. 

Upon reflection on that, myself cannot crack a joke if that happens to me. I will be sad, or it might be I'm afraid that the only option if failure happens is I'm going forever. I dont see that feeling of being afraid when he was cracking a joke earlier, or its just maybe a defense mechanism that he is manifesting.  It might be just me or my belief that most of us are afraid of letting go and saying goodbye forever to our love ones. There might be some of the regrets and disappointments that we feel and need to be resolved before waving a final. 

But I think thats life,  and I think I have just to accept that whenever things or events wont go as I expected them to happen, only the Maker knows what is the best. Let Him be the final decider of what might happend and as long as I did all my best on my side, I still have my prayer on the hope that all things will still go for the best of everyone. 

A years before same month today, with my father we were scheduled for a blood transfusion as the Doc told me that my father really needs it as his blood is a bit dirty and might endanger my father. I've left my father on the receiving area as I have to pay first on the hospital cashier before we were going to be admitted. When I return the attending nurses on the receiving area told me why I left my father over there as he has a difficulty of urinating, and that left a messy receiving area as my father hardly find a place to pee. I pity on that event but I explained I still have to pay over the counter.  

While waiting for my father to be transferred to the room alloted for him, I explained to my father that those people I know that acting like him, having difficulty and having a muscle swelling like he was experiencing that time, are in really great danger and have there time were already being counted for.  One of the guy I know suffers only a week. I know its difficult for me to say this but I need my father to know what he is facing at that time. 

Its just been lucky for my family that my father overcome almost the weeks of having him and we still celebrated his 83th birthday last September 26, 2021. Sadly he passed away on 3 Nov 2021  

Saying goodbye is really difficult and heart breaking for us. But we need to face it as that is the reality. 

My friend who is about to have a surgery is still on the positive side though and I am praying for the success of his operation.  God bless everyone. 

Posted by kadjo on May 31, 2022 at 01:29 PM | Add a Comment

30th day of May. Last day of the month of May 2022. 

I'm almost through with my task on this project on this Bank. I have been waiting here, sitting occasionaly doing some task to fixed those complaints by the auditor that evaluates the software I've built. Sitting here in the cubicle with occasional yawn, I think I am really not fit for the cubicle job. I have observed it way back 2013 in Malaysia where I have sit and do and wait for the end of day bell or indicate that the working hour of my day have ended. 

I like to work but not on the cubicle. For almost 15 years of working as telecommuter, "work-from-home" they say, I always prefer working at home. At home you can decide which food to cook, which vegetable to mix and what time will you be stopping and resting for work. That was what they are doing when we were in quarantine period, way back 2020 when the pandemic started. I have been doing that for the past 13 years and still up to this day. 

One of my colleague before decided to build our own company and got some project. When the project go sideways and goes down unexpectedly I was the one left to pick up the pieces and finish the contract for this project. I pity myself that I was the one handling this but God knows how much I sacrifice to have this finished. I am not perfect worker or programmer but I dont backdown, and left my commitments and responsibility. I will finish what I have started always. 

To this day, though there is already a demand letter regarding this job for me to finish. I believe that this will be done sooner. 

God bless and please do pray for me. 

Posted by kadjo on May 30, 2022 at 01:33 PM | Add a Comment

This is just some sort of review on what happened so far.

Pandemic is still raging although most of the people here no longer wears mask. I myself also here no longer wear mask in buying some basic ingredients in Sari-sari store.  We might get used on the Pandemic but really we do wear mask on going to church to malls and others.  For the past 2 years, my children, they are all teenagers now they are having an online class.  Its sad but we have to deal with the reality that Pandemic really affects most of our lives. 

My father passed away last 3 Nov 2021. I posted an entry a day after we laid him to rest but I didnt manage to finish what I was writing. Its painful to recall and I occasionally cry even to this day. I have some dreams of him on the old house we have in the barrio. I really miss my father I still do. I have also reviewed some of the events that have transpired during his on and off on the hospital and I have entries here for that too.  Painful to read them but the reality really sets in. He is no longer with us and I have to deal with it. 

Few days also the elections here happened. I have chosen to be one of the "Kakampinks" as they belong to those what I believe. The other candidate which happened to be also my fathers choice when he is alive is the winner and he got it on victory/landslide. I have to accept it as its the choice of the majority but I would just like to say that I will be more vigilant on the next days and years of him serving my country. 

Last December 2019, I have managed to start our own company but then that was aborted due to some external factors. We have chosen a project to work on certain banks here but in the end I was the one left dealing on working and finishing the project. I have a deadline that I need to deliver this Monday (16 May 2022) and I'm sure I will do that. I felt discourage but I need to move forward also as I have started another company with few new friends.  This new set of friends is very enthusiastic on this projects and endeavor of us. I was telling them that they dont stop working on their dreams of this software company although myself is somehow adamant and a bit discourage because of what happened to my last endeavor before this company of us we started.

My wife is also having his thyroid also benign is still bulging on her neck. I am looking forward to see her healed and she is scheduled to be checked by my Doc this Monday or the next day. I am scared of her condition and I really do pray for the healing of her sickness. 

My widowed mother is also scheduled to get her Survivorship card on GSIS which is also we have been waiting for quite some time. My mother said that she didnt like me sacrifice my time for her as I still have my work. I said to her that I will still do that as I served also my father. I dont want to miss those times that she needs also my help. Both of them, my father and mother, help me to what I am enjoying right now. I felt that I need to help them also and I will miss helping them once they are no longer here

Missing someone is painful and really I have to deal with that. There are people who are no longer here and I am praying for the repose of their soul. 

Please pray with me :

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon them.  May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

God bless us all. 

Posted by kadjo on May 15, 2022 at 01:24 AM | Add a Comment

This is a year after last entry. World is changing today. Pandemic is going on with this COVID-19, its been 4 months now. My new company got sucked-up and havent recovered although we have a job to finish according to the contract we've signed with the company we service. At the moment though struggling I already have a new job. New projects to look forward to and finished. 

I'm still reflecting on what to do and work on my end to help my family survive all the trials that we encounter while struggling on this pandemic thing. I know its not only me there are others but stay strong everyone! I'm praying for all of us. God bless us all. 

Posted by kadjo on July 25, 2020 at 09:23 PM | Add a Comment
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