kadjo

I came along with this quote sometime. I think it was a preacher a popular one who says this and he talks about understanding the people behind who hurt you. I often see this as just an excuse of perpetuating the abusive cycle of hurting others, which I dont want to condone. Hurting others is a big NO NO but lets break down first how hurting can be a cycle.

1)  People who have gone through challenging, hurtful, or traumatic experiences in their lives, especially during their formative years, may develop emotional wounds or scars. These experiences can include abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss, or any other situation that has caused significant emotional distress.

2)  When these individuals haven't had the opportunity or resources to properly address and heal from their own emotional wounds, those unresolved emotions can fester and linger. These individuals might carry feelings of anger, resentment, fear, or sadness beneath the surface.

3)  These unhealed emotions can significantly impact a person's behavior and interactions with others. They might develop defense mechanisms, such as lashing out, being overly critical, or even being emotionally distant, as a way to protect themselves from further emotional pain.

4) Unfortunately, if these hurt individuals do not find healthy ways to cope with and heal from their own pain, they might inadvertently perpetuate the cycle by causing pain to others. Their hurt might lead them to behave in hurtful ways toward others, either consciously or unconsciously.

5)  Recognizing the phrase "Hurt people hurt people" emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding. It encourages us to consider the underlying reasons for someone's hurtful behavior rather than simply reacting to the hurtful actions themselves. By understanding that hurt individuals might be acting out of their own pain, we can approach them with compassion and potentially break the cycle of hurt by offering support, kindness, and opportunities for healing.

Does this quote a sort of an excuse to just allow someone being abusive to us?

No, the phrase "Hurt people hurt people" is not intended to be an excuse for abusive behavior. While it provides insight into the cycle of emotional pain and how it can impact behavior, it does not justify or condone hurting others. It's important to draw a clear distinction between understanding the origins of certain behavior and excusing harmful actions.

While people who have experienced emotional pain may be more prone to acting out in hurtful ways, it's still their responsibility to seek help, healing, and personal growth in order to break the cycle of hurt. Understanding the phrase can help promote empathy and encourage a more compassionate response to individuals who exhibit hurtful behavior, but it does not absolve them of accountability for their actions.

Abusive behavior is never justified by a person's own past pain. Abuse is harmful, damaging, and unacceptable. If you or someone you know is experiencing or perpetrating abusive behavior, it's important to seek professional help, whether it's therapy, counseling, or support from relevant organizations that specialize in addressing abusive behavior.

Aside from that my own take is to pray for them. Dont be a victim of abuse, you can have just empathy but dont be a victim. Help them to grow and encourage more healthy relationship.  

God bless everyone.